Neuro Emotional Technique Healed the Healer
September 16, 2018, my life changed. I received a called from my mother on September 11, who at that point, was in a hospital bed rotting away from mismanaged nursing home care. She told me that she was going to die that weekend, then she went right back into a state of psychosis. Since I was her healthcare power of attorney, I received another call from her doctor the next day who wanted to discuss her end of life plans. Per her wishes, I had to make the decision to end the treatment, and watch my mother waste away in an even faster decline. My anger at the nursing facility raged. I watched her cry, plead, and scream for physical relief. The physicians and nurses kept my mother under medical sedation partly because of pain, but also because of fear. Either her cancer went to her brain, or the lengthy hospital stays caused a form of psychosis.
On the early morning hours of September 16th, I watch my mother take her last breath on Earth. I held her hand until it turned cold. One of her eyes was open, and I could see her green iris clearly. She was gone; nothing but a shell. I have faith that this is not end, and I would not wish her back for anything. How she died was another story.
Neuro Emotional Technique(NET) saved my head. I went back to work two days later. It is not impossible to do it to oneself, but it is quite difficult to get everything. A week later, I still needed help. I would be OK during the day, but at night, I would sit on edge of my bed and only see the image of her dead body with one eye open staring at the ceiling. I felt guilt for not doing things differently. I felt guilt for not getting other opinions. I even felt guilty by thinking I could have done things better. None of this was true. I had my associate, Gillian Squillacioti, LPC do NET on me. I promise who ever reads this, that those thoughts and images were out of my head in less than 5 minutes. I, obviously, can still remember what happened, but my feelings of dread are completely gone. I still miss my mom, and that will never change. However because of NET, I can now look forward to the future, and smile about the memories that I hold dear.
Rest easy mom - Beth Ann Asafaylo 7/4/61 - 9/16/18
Till next time,
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Thoughts of rambling therapists.